I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
