I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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