people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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