matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
