Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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