ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
