the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
