Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
