I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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