If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize