You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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