i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
babies were throwing up all over the place
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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