My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
