im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
