i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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