none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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