Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
