why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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