everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize