i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
