Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
