DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
