I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize