Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
