she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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