This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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