That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
don't judge my taste in strippers
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
