i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
