you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ttyl tear gas
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
