So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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