i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
