: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
