Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They took my balls.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
