Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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