I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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