There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
