come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
