why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
