Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
