whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
