If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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