You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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