How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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