He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
