Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
