Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
