I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
