I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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