Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You smell like stripper and shame
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
