Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
