just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
40s are totally the cure
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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