There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I intend to get homeless drunk
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
