Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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