I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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