Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
