Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
