Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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