remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
