fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
